Rant 2

I can't take all this feeling shit any more. I can't deal with the fact that some people are so self obsessed as to think their lives are awful on minute and brilliant the next without actually considering how insensitive their words might be harmful, only to then accuse others of doing the same. I can\t deal with the fact that I do the same thing and am a horrible person. I can't take that fact that some people don't realise that they do need to think about themselves. I can't take that I'm affecting other people more than I should, it's unfair. I can't take the fact that people judge me or laugh because I find it so difficult to do even the smallest of things when because of my condition it's a big deal if I can do said things. I can't deal with hypocrites. I can't deal with the fact that you can trample all over people just to get what you want and not think about others. I can't deal with the fact that I need to think about myself before others to get better. I can't take people keep on doing what is easy instead of what is right. I can't take the fact that you're going to think that one of these is about you when it isn't. I can't deal with the fact that you're going to read this not thinking it's about you. I can't deal with the fact you'll never read this and know just how much you've fucked things up. I can't deal with the fact that you will read this and take it the wrong way. I can't deal with the fact that even though you're there for me I can't talk. I can't deal with the face that I can talk and it is misunderstood. I can't deal with the fact that I'm losing the plot. I can't deal with the fact that I am just being stupid. I can't deal with the fact that this'll probably make things worse. I can't deal with the fact that I have no money but can't deal with a job. I can't deal with the fact that I'm no good at university. I can't deal with the fact that people compliment me with lies. I can't deal with the fact that people say they're not lying. I can't deal not being able to do anything all the time. I can't deal with having to do anything. I can't deal with doing menial tasks. I can't deal with the fact that I hate how I look. I can't deal with the fact that I wear glasses. I can't deal with the fact that I can't do contact lenses. I can't deal with the fact that I can't try new things. I can't deal with the fact that I need help. I can't deal with the fact that things are all to much and I want/have acted on it. I can't deal with the fact that I want to. I can't deal with the fact I can't. I can't deal with the fact that it would hurt others.