#YellowChocolate

I can't take all this feeling shit any more. I can't deal with the fact that some people are so self obsessed as to think their lives are awful on minute and brilliant the next without actually considering how insensitive their words might be harmful, only to then accuse others of doing the same. I can\t deal with the fact that I do the same thing and am a horrible person. I can't take that fact that some people don't realise that they do need to think about themselves. I can't take that I'm affecting other people more than I should, it's unfair. I can't take the fact that people judge me or laugh because I find it so difficult to do even the smallest of things when because of my condition it's a big deal if I can do said things. I can't deal with hypocrites. I can't deal with the fact that you can trample all over people just to get what you want and not think about others. I can't deal with the fact that I need to think about myself be...

So me and Leanne went to Cardiff for a couple of days this half term as her Christmas/Birthday present and I've got to say it was a very good time. It was a getaway that I really needed a lot. We went to Caerphilly Mountains, Cardiff Castle and Cardiff Bay, as well as a bit of shopping, a Welsh spoons and a walk around the shopping centres. We had such a good time, and chilled out in the evening in The Big Sleep hotel which was a nice time. After some very difficult times, it was nice to get away from everything, even if we did have to return rather quickly. I really want to go back soon!  The road trip and stop off at the services were pretty good fun too! Would you look at that?! A genuine smile.

I've got so much running through my head My heart is fraying I've lost all thread I can't help but feel I'm better off dead But I'll end up living instead. This broken man lives within this shell Every day feels just like hell I wish you didn't but I know you can tell So in my mind, I'll ponder, I'll dwell. And this selfish man feels so alone He has the help but still feels alone Lonely can be so lonely alone, The one thing he needs, he can't get alone

day 27 - a song that you wish you could play The Feeling's Rosé is one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard. day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty day 29 - a song from your childhood   day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

Filming the three 16mm films is finally over. Had some good times, had some bad times but overall I think we've got 3 successful films. I actually had an up as well, so all is good.