Getting things off my chest.

My life at the moment seems to suck balls. I've been working loads and with really shit/long hours so I'm tired and stressed out all the time. Everything is bugging me at the moment. I'm worried about getting this flat sorted but I need to sort a bank account out but I need my lecturers to send me a letter proving i'm going into my second year. I'm not sleeping properly at the moment which sucks. I'm feeling lonelier than ever, and I'm too much of a loser, have too little confidence to do anything about it. I'm poor. I've had a massive argument with my sister and the thing that pissed me off the most about it was when she had a go at me because I don't make much of an effort with her boyfriend. I do have a reason for this.

I was bullied ALOT when I was at school, and it was from the popular kids. They bullied me because they thought I was gay. This made all the guys in my year not want to be friends with me because they didn't want to be bullied. This made it very difficult to make friends with guys, and, after I left school, because I didn't really have any guy mates, I didn't really know what to do/say when I did. Now it's not so bad, because I have more guy friends, who aren't so judgemental. But this is how I feel with Jeremy. I have no idea what to talk about, because he's a blokey bloke, and none of my guy friends are exactly like that.

At the moment I just need someone to talk to, to let this all out. I don't want to use a blog for that. I know I have friends who I can talk to, but they're scattered all over the country and all I want right now is a hug from one of them. I miss hugs.

So at the moment I feel at an all time low, I'm hoping to cheer up by Saturday to go see Melissa. I want to go so bad, but feeling like this, I'd ruin her birthday.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Return to blogging?

As has been the general theme of my vapid last few posts, here I am, looking to blog again, to see if it will do any good. Lets start with an update based on the big milestones I kept missing in my previous posts. It is five years since my previous post, where I was a very naive 25 year old. Yes, I'm in my thirties now. Maturing like a fine wine I hope, but more likely like a piece of cheddar that dropped under the fridge. Back then I was 'still' living at home. I did not know back then that it would be another five years. Last year however, in May I bought my own home. Yes that's right, I'm a homeowner. The years of saving paid off.  I escaped the bully from the old marketing company and after a brief time working in Oxford, I have settled into a SaaS company where the last three years have blown by. I chop and change as to whether there is the right level of opportunity for me there, but I have a good support network there and I am doing something I enjoy; Contin...
Read more

Who Killed Lucy Beale? Suspects 15-11

Image
Now we're really getting in deep. We're on to part 7 of our suspect list, with some real likely killers and one psycho child. 15. Dennis Rickman Jr. This has to be the worst little shit in the history of fictional characters? He is such a little twerp who deserves a smack. His lies against Whitney pushing him just shows how evil he can be and I wouldn't be shocked in the slightest if he was a murderer. 14. Denise Fox Denise made the disgusting mistake of falling for Ian. How the hell did that happen? She was supposed to be in Oxford at the time of the murder, but that could be a shoddy excuse (just look at Mr Bates in Downton). Lucy actually helped Denise by keeping her kiss with Fatboy secret, and they never really had that much hatred between them. However, she did start to really detest Ian, and she would know how to hurt him, through his children.   13. Nick Cotton Nick is back, again... Whilst that means we've got a couple of months of Dot...
Read more