Better Alone?

I was supposed to be having a happy february this month due to the difficulties and feelings of January, this is easier said than done.

So the playzone was amazing last Thursday and that was perhaps the best day I've had in ages! I think the highlight was the laserquest because I won both games...Who'd have thought the camp Jew would be best with the guns??


Then the whole weekend was shit with the whole being dumped palava. I'm still getting over it but I just want to stop feeling sad. I thought I had got over it last night but I clearly hadn't and had a bit of a downer. I feel so grateful for my friends being their for me, Especially Jolly, because he helps me to not think/dwell on it all. However, I feel so bad ruining their days when they don't have a reason to be unhappy except my misery. Then I apologise which I think must be even more annoying because they just want to be good friends. I let some of my stress out last night by smashing things and getting drunk. I kept feeling highs and lows and now I just don't know wha goinin?!

I'm starting to think I am better off alone. I wasn't loved and that hurt.

My sister is coming to visit me at uni on Thursday...Means I need to tidy my room :S
That might take a while!


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Return to blogging?

As has been the general theme of my vapid last few posts, here I am, looking to blog again, to see if it will do any good. Lets start with an update based on the big milestones I kept missing in my previous posts. It is five years since my previous post, where I was a very naive 25 year old. Yes, I'm in my thirties now. Maturing like a fine wine I hope, but more likely like a piece of cheddar that dropped under the fridge. Back then I was 'still' living at home. I did not know back then that it would be another five years. Last year however, in May I bought my own home. Yes that's right, I'm a homeowner. The years of saving paid off.  I escaped the bully from the old marketing company and after a brief time working in Oxford, I have settled into a SaaS company where the last three years have blown by. I chop and change as to whether there is the right level of opportunity for me there, but I have a good support network there and I am doing something I enjoy; Contin...
Read more

Who Killed Lucy Beale? Suspects 15-11

Image
Now we're really getting in deep. We're on to part 7 of our suspect list, with some real likely killers and one psycho child. 15. Dennis Rickman Jr. This has to be the worst little shit in the history of fictional characters? He is such a little twerp who deserves a smack. His lies against Whitney pushing him just shows how evil he can be and I wouldn't be shocked in the slightest if he was a murderer. 14. Denise Fox Denise made the disgusting mistake of falling for Ian. How the hell did that happen? She was supposed to be in Oxford at the time of the murder, but that could be a shoddy excuse (just look at Mr Bates in Downton). Lucy actually helped Denise by keeping her kiss with Fatboy secret, and they never really had that much hatred between them. However, she did start to really detest Ian, and she would know how to hurt him, through his children.   13. Nick Cotton Nick is back, again... Whilst that means we've got a couple of months of Dot...
Read more