Family & Friends at Christmas Time

So, A Hogwarts Christmas was a complete success, and I had a good day for the first time in God knows how long, and it was genuine. The Christmas dinner was delicious and the present giving was great fun. It was really nice to actually be able to smile for once. I put in so much effort for that day and it paid off, but I wasn't the person who put the most effort in I believe.

But now we come to today. This week has been a bloody difficult week to get through. I haven't been to work this weekend after feeling awful. I haven't been able to do any work, and it's been a great big deal just actually being able to get out of bed. It took so much effort to get up, and shower yesterday, and then I even managed to clean some of the house. Nicholas Jolly has been the best friend through this week, and I really am grateful. Things did perk up with Beth came over last night but I crashed significantly after she left.

My Sister Dani's coming over for the next couple of days, which should really be good. I hope I feel better though because I really don't want to seem ungrateful as she has some surprises planned for me. I have work again tonight but I just don't think I can do it. It's become to much to fake a smile and do stuff.

I really can't wait to go home for Christmas and see the rest of my family too. I've missed everyone so much and it's what I need right now. I just need to not have to look after myself for a while. I'm worried though that my family will see me at my lowest, as I don't think they know just how bad I've felt. 

As much as I can't wait to go home though, I'm worried about actual Christmas Day, and the fun drive home that my sisters have planned for me (driving home for christmas listening to driving home for christmas) because if I feel like this, I am worried that I'll ruin it by seeming glum and ungrateful.