#YellowChocolate

My costume came through today for our Halloween party Tuesday night! Sweeney Todd, Yeah boi! I'll look awesome once I've had a shave etc... I'm excited but I'm not. I wanna have fun but I've got a niggling feeling it's all gonna crash like usual. Fuck being Lonely...

This Halloween has been very much a horror story... Non-stop working for a start with a 6AM wake up call after falling asleep at 4. White Rooms next door was ridiculously loud and shit. Only to have a horrible day of busy work and no stock and people getting confused and mucking up orders, which just annoys me, and then there's the people who are so slow at the washing up that they might as well go home. Then to have such a crash of an evening after trying so hard to feel good definitely topped it all off. Then today to have no stock again, and then to be told that I can't get Christmas Eve off...FML On the plus side, getting wandered Tuesday I do believe for Halloween partyness. And pumpkin carving tomorrow! Plus I'm going to finally sort the doctors out.

The big question on Downton Abbey. My mum thinks it might be O'Brien, I gotta say, I agree. She did disappear and she always worries about how things'll affect her ladyship, and she did regret bringing her back here.

I love circuses. I recently watched Water for Elephants which I thought was a beautifully made film and the visuals of the circus was just beautiful. However, it made me think about the use of animals in the circus. I think circuses are great and their entertainment is inventive and exciting. With or without animals I love the theme, atmosphere and style of circus'. However it is sometimes controversial to say that you like to watch a circus with animals. People often believe that circus' are cruel to animals, and I'm definitely not saying that some of them definitely aren't, and many of them were as there is definite evidence to prove this, but I read this piece yesterday that shone a new light. in 2007 a different working group under the UK  Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs , having reviewed information from experts representing both the circus industry and animal welfare, found an absence of "scientific evidence sufficient to demonstrate

Well it's half term this week and I've got to get my act in gear. I need to sort out my case study person. I need to do something fun. There's people I really need to hang out with. I need to go to Salisbury Wildlife Centre to donate stuff. I need to sort my life out. I need to get my glasses...HURRY TESCO!

I want to go out, I don't want to go out. There are some tears that Johnson's cannot prevent.

The emersion heater decided to pack up last night so we've got to have someone fix it :/ Had to do a presentation today about presenting from an email we were given last night. I didn't read the email so I had to wing it but apparently according to Marvyn it was quite funny which I'm quite proud of. I kept rambling on about rambling on! Going to have a rig workshop later, whatever a rig is!

1. J.K Rowling (15) 1. 3OH!3 (15) 3. Melanie C (13) 4. Britney Spears (12) 5. P!nk (8)

day 23 - a song that you want to play at your we dding I know this may seem like an odd choice, being Ashley Tisdale's 'Me Without You', but the lyrics are beautiful and the song is just so immense and full of love. day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral day 25 - a song that makes you laugh day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument day 27 - a song that you wish you could play day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty day 29 - a song from your childhood   day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

Today I'm determined to have a good night out tonight. Tomorrow I'm determined to sort out my Case Study, and to make a Bertie Bassett costume. Saturday I'm determined to not get shattered from work, and to celebrate Sara's Birthday dressed as Bertie Bassett. Sunday I'm determined to write a bit of my script, providing that Kieron thinks it's as good as the favoured 6. They're the ones that'll get chosen.

Don't think that I can fake another hollow smile. But I will. And I'll stop blogging. I'm not attention seeking. Zipped Lips. Don't ask me because I won't say. Loneliness.

1. Britney Spears (21) 2. Melanie C (20) 3. J.K. Rowling (18) 4. 3OH!3 (9) 5. Glee Cast (8)

Everytime I think of you;

Lies lies lies lies lies... Ever noticed the world is full of lies? That's for truth... And, I started reading The Liar from Stephen Fry and I didn't realise it would be so gay. But, I will soldier through and read it fully. Stephen Fry is an accomplished and awesome writer.

Ever considered that it's not because I'm boring but because I'm unhappy?

Everything is long. I can't sleep properly and life sucks!

Lazy morning, can't be bothered to go to the kitchen so I'm having Jaffa Cakes for breakfast. Yum. Working 1-9 so taking it easy before. Looking forward to Thursday night. You better be there to make me smile. Life is good. Life is bad. My head needs to explode.

1. Melanie C (18) 2. Black Eyed Peas (6) 3. Danny Elfman (5) 4. Britney Spears (4) 4. J.K. Rowling (4)

You look into my eyes I go out of my mind I can't see anything Cos this love's got me blind I can't help myself I can't break the spell I can't even try I'm in over my head You got under my skin I got no strength at all In the state that I'm in And my knees are weak And my mouth can't speak Fell too far this time Baby, I'm too lost in you Caught in you Lost in everything about you So deep, I can't sleep I can't think I just think about the things that you do (you do) I'm too lost in you (Too lost in you) ooh Well you whispered to me And I shiver inside You undo me and move me In ways undefined And you're all I see And you're all I need Help me baby (help me baby) Help me baby (help me now) Cos I'm slipping away Like the sand to the tide Flowing into your arms Falling into your eyes If you get too near I might disappear I might lose my mind Baby, I'm too lost in you Caught in you Lost in everything about you So deep,

Downton is seriously the best show on television. It's almost flawless. I love it. Going to make an appreciation post soon!

So I've got a job! I now work at BHS which is great! Things seem to actually be looking up a little bit. I've really enjoyed working there so far, and I'm hoping that they're enjoying having me! I've had positive feedback so fingers crossed. It's the first time in a good few weeks that I've felt happy (well, not happy, but good) not intoxicated. Alcohol has made me feel better a lot the past few weeks but now maybe having something to wake up for in the morning will help me feel better. However, my headaches are still there...FUCK OFF.