DramaLama

So, these past 48 hours shit has gone down in halls.

I'm not going to divulge too much because I respect the privacy of my friends, but it has caused a huge rift in mine and 2 of my friends relationships.

My friendships with them have broken down because of the lack of trust. And I am partly at fault by not raising the issue even though it has been like this for the past 2 months at least. They have changed who they are, and I have finally told them that I don't like who they have become. They were two of the nicest people I knew, but have recently become selfish and so absorbed with their own feelings and desires that they have forgotten, or disregarded the people around them. I have finally explained to them that I cannot trust them when they lie to me, and that they have become horrible, cruel people.

I still don't know what to believe when they apologise and talk to me, and I am debating whether I should give them the benefit of the doubt. I loved them both because I could trust what they'd say. But then they started to lie, deceive, and keep secrets. Now, they've divulged so much into their own feelings that it's come to the end of the line. It's become the time where they have to tell everyone the truth and face the consequences that they deserve. The reprocussions may not be nice for them, but it's got to happen.

They both have said they want things to go back to normal, and I have told both of them there is no normal. The situation has been bubbling under the surface since the beginning of our friendships, but I have always ignored it, and they've just kept it to themselves. They shouldn't fight for things to go back to how they were, but should fight for a friendship between all of us where we are honest and trusting of each other, and think about others before we act.

As for me, I am happy that they've decided to be truthful, but whether I can believe them is another story. It'll take a while for me to trust them again, and whatever they say there'll always be a doubt in my mind after the many times we've come to a crossroads, and they've lied, ignored and pretended that everything is alright both to me and themselves. I want things to work out so bad, but it's going to be a long road with lots of hard work on their parts. Trust is something that needs to be earned, and should never be taken for granted. I'm prepared to lose my friendships between them if they do not do the right thing, because lately the friendships I have had have not been strong, and due to lies we've drifted further apart. But even worse, is I've been more honest to them over the past couple of months as they've lied more.

I know that they're going to read this, but it's stuff that I have told them already. I hope that it sinks in and they do realise how serious and deep this situation is. They can't keep going around doing things and not being held accountable, and they must face the consequences to their actions, even when they do the right thing.

A part of me is proud that they are sorting things out now, and that they have begun to be honest about it, but there'll always be a slight disbelieve in anything they say for the forseeable future.

Now it's time to observe how things pan out, but this time I'm sticking to my ground. I have been taken advantage of by both of them whether they have realised it or not, but I'm not taking it any more. Things are changing now and I'm not going to accept anything less than what is right and good. I am no longer going to let them get me down like they have done the past few months. And I know that it hasn't been on purpose, but because they have been stupid and naive about life and their actions.

I have faith that now our friendships are going to be stronger than ever if they continue to be honest and true. And if/when they read this, I hope they know that they are two of the most important people to me and that I used to love them to bits before they changed, and I want to be able to love them again.

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